The Illusion of Lust: Breaking the Cycle

Welcome to another exploration into the depths of our lifestyles and behaviors on Joy Recovery Radio. I'm Roy, and today we delve into a topic that's not just a passing concern in our culture but a complex debate — the notions of lust and objectification. Is it wrong? If yes, why? As we peel back the layers of this issue, we'll turn to scripture and behavioral science for guidance. Both have profoundly influenced my personal recovery journey, often using different terms to point toward the same truths about human behavior.

The Intersection of Scripture and Science

My recovery process draws heavily from both biblical scripture and behavioral science. I respect those who don't see the Bible as a guiding source. The 12-step program, for instance, encourages a higher power of your own understanding, and I fully honor that. Yet, I find immense value in seeing how scripture and science align, particularly on topics like lust and objectification. In the Bible, 'lust' is the term used, whereas 'objectification' is the term behavioral science employs. Remarkably, they articulate the same underlying behavior.

For instance, Jesus, a master teacher whose wisdom is unmatched, offered profound insights on lust, which align seamlessly with scientific perspectives. Consider the concept of 'approach bias' — when individuals are presented with suggestive images, their desire to zoom in and engage further is a predictor of potential relapse into detrimental sexual behaviors. This scientific finding perfectly echoes scriptural teachings on lust and its dangers.

A Deeper Dive into Lust

Let's dissect further, starting with a critical teaching from Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 5. He spoke to those who prided themselves in adhering to the Ten Commandments, like never committing adultery. Jesus took this further, challenging their understanding and emphasizing a deeper, heart-oriented sex ethic. His teachings supported the principle that sex belongs within the boundary of a covenant relationship, pointing to the need to distinguish between consumer and covenant relationships.

In a consumer relationship, it's common to prioritize personal needs over any relational commitment. In contrast, a covenant relationship focuses on mutual sacrifice and service, where the relationship itself takes precedence over individual desires. Jesus emphasized that sex should be a covenant good, not a consumer good. Lust distorts this by turning sex into a transaction devoid of genuine human connection, and the result is never true satisfaction.

The Paradox of Lust

Lust, essentially, is the ultimate paradox. Like being surrounded by ocean water yet dying of thirst, it constantly leaves you feeling empty. We often use lust to fill a need meant to be satisfied within a covenant relationship. Instead, we commodify people, leading to cycles of using, objectifying, and discarding them.

Richard Exley aptly stated that lust doesn't stem from an overactive sex drive; it becomes more demanding the more we indulge it. There's simply no satiating the insatiable nature of lust. Jesus' teachings expose the internal, intentional, and ultimately immoral nature of lust, demanding more than mere physical conservatism but a deeper, heartfelt change in perspective.

Moving Toward Recovery

Understanding lust as internal and intentional highlights our need for genuine transformation. Lust is a conscious act driven by heart desires. When we notice someone, that's natural and inevitable. Lust, however, involves an intentional desire to possess what isn't ours, transforming a natural glance into an intentional gaze.

Juxtaposed against biblical teachings, this gaze is considered morally untoward. It's a boundary violation, a sin that succinctly falls short of God's intended purpose for our desires. Jesus metaphorically encouraged taking extreme measures to combat lust — not literally gouging out eyes but radically altering our environment and attitudes.

Initiate Change for Recovery

To truly initiate change, it's critical to practice intentional gratitude for what we have. We must renew our hearts, acknowledging that our creator has given us what's sufficient within the construction of a covenant relationship. Change requires taking initiative, sometimes through extreme measures to ensure we don't relapse into harmful patterns of lust and objectification.

In upcoming discussions, we'll further explore how you can deal with the tendency to lust, especially focusing on how to control your gaze and reinforce commitments to healthier, covenantal living.